


You're Not Alone

by SingingSilence



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Character Development, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, Kenny Dies, M/M, Non-game plot, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-10 06:00:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12905592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingSilence/pseuds/SingingSilence
Summary: He was so considerate. Kenny couldn't understand how someone like him even existed, nevermind the fact that he somehow made it all the way to South Park. Only the strangest and most ridiculous things happened in the odd little mountain town, but the new kid was by far the weirdest. Kenny was just glad that he wasn't alone anymore.





	1. Chapter 1

"New Kid!"

"Douchebag!"

"Hello Douchebag!"

Sterling had plenty of names, and none of them were his actual one. He supposed that the other kids didn't even bother with trying to figure out what his name was. At least adults were kind enough to not refer to him as "douchebag", but it had slipped occasionally from the teachers. He probably shouldn't have been so lenient about it, but he didn't care anyway. They could have picked worse. Eventually, he just stopped protesting. Sterling didn't talk much. He was quiet enough that people thought he was mute for a while; most of elementary school, to be exact. As it turned out, Sterling just hated people. That didn't change when he moved to the small little town of South Park, Colorado.

There were a select few that Sterling did talk to in the town. He liked Wendy's group, and Butters. He stuck around Craig's gang too. Though, he could never stay near Cartman long enough to communicate with his group. The lard bag of a boy was absolutely unbearable. He had only been in school for a week and he had already seen the atrocities that Cartman was capable of. His manipulating skills were top notch, but he was the biggest jerk that Sterling had ever met, mentally and physically. 

The first day that he had moved in, he thought he had known exactly what he was dealing with. Just some typical high school bully. But no, Cartman was something far beyond that level. Cartman was truly sinister, almost enough so that Sterling couldn't even believe he was even a human being. Hearing about everything he had done was appalling. In elementary school alone he had committed hate crimes, murder, thievery, assault, and that was only scratching the surface. He could hardly believe that Cartman didn't even have a life sentence in prison, but then again, this town was full of surprises. 

Cartman was god awful, but the people that were in his friend group were at least somewhat decent. He didn't know a lot about Stan, but Kyle and Kenny were nice enough. He hardly thought much of them. Though, he had to admit that Kenny was attractive, at least when he wasn't completely covered up by his hood. He merely admired from a distance. He was smarter than that. Approaching him would be like falling right into a trap. He also couldn't help but feel bad for the male. He was picked on often by others for living in poverty, especially by Cartman. God, did Sterling want to punch Cartman. 

Social status aside, Sterling was deemed a marvelous student. He worked hard to keep up the grades he got, and he might have considered himself an over-achiever. Along with Kyle and Wendy, he was placed in advanced classes. He talked with Kyle on the occasion, where he would learn about all the crazy things that happened in South Park. Most of the time he spoke to Wendy. He actually liked her a lot. He admitted that it might have been a tiny crush, but he knew he had to shut that down. From what he had heard, Wendy had a long on-and-off relationship with Stan, and he didn't want to get involved with that. 

Wendy had found out anyway. She had confronted Sterling in the hallways, and Sterling knew that there was no way he was getting out of this conversation. 

"Sterling, look, you're a nice guy and all..." 

Sterling frowned. He knew where this was going.

"I'm sorry. I'm with Stan." 

"From what I've heard, you've been breaking up and getting back together since elementary school. Why? Why would you go through with all of that?" 

"Because I love him, and he loves me. He may be an idiot sometimes, but I don't want to sever from him for good." 

Sterling was hurt, but he nodded his head. He would accept her decision, as long as they could remain friends. Getting over Wendy wasn't easy, but he could only imagine how many times that Stan had to do it. He didn't want their relationship anyway. Wendy said that it was stable, but it was about as stable as a rickety bridge made of rope. Sterling found one of his hardest qualities had to be acceptance. If something made him upset, he would let it go. He hoped Wendy knew that he would still protect her and be there to comfort her when her relationship wasn't going well. 

Walking home from school on that day turned out to be a bad decision. When he was halfway down the block, Stan had confronted him, along with the rest of Cartman's group. He didn't want to deal with them, but of course they somehow managed to intertwine with his life. It was like that was planned. Stan looked threatening. Sterling could only assume he'd heard about Wendy. 

"You tried to get together with my girlfriend?" He asked, gritting his teeth. 

Sterling shook his head. If he didn't need to force himself to talk, he wouldn't. Stan didn't like that answer. He stormed over to Sterling immediately. Sterling searched for any kind of help from the boys behind Stan, but they just stared. The second that Stan grabbed Sterling by the front of his jacket, Kyle and Kenny stepped in. 

"Woah! Dude, no! Don't hurt him!" Kyle grabbed at Stan. "You said you would deal with this in a civil manner."

Kenny glared at Stan. Sterling gulped, shaking slightly in Stan's grip. He could easily fight back. He wanted to just sock Stan in the jaw. He couldn't bring himself to do it. What would be the point in fighting Stan anyway? Wendy rejected him, and now he really knew the kind of person that was for. He could only feel worse for the girl. He let out a sigh. 

"I'm not going to date her. She loves you, and I can't change that. I would never go after someone already in a relationship. Hell, I didn't. She approached me and told me that she was going out with you. I never asked! I don't see the point in you coming here and attacking me if there is nothing to protect. Go ahead, Stan. Hit me. Show me what kind of person you really are." 

The boys were taken aback. They hadn't expected Sterling to answer, nevermind what he had said. Kyle stepped off, and Stan backed up. Cartman didn't appear to be impressed. 

"What the hell? I came here for a fight! Just gonna have to do this myself!" Cartman walked over to Sterling, winding up for a punch. Sterling braced himself, tensing up. Though, his eyes snapped open when he heard Cartman's fist make impact on something that wasn't him. 

He watched with absolute horror as Kenny went flying, right into the road. Sterling reached his arm out, but he was too late. A car had come speeding by, not paying attention to what was going on. Sterling heard the loud crunch as the car tire went right over Kenny's head, killing him instantly as his blood and brains scattered. Some of the blood got on his shoes and stained the sidewalk. Sterling's mouth was agape and his eyes were blown wide, tears threatening to fall. 

"Oh my God! He killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!" 

"Come on you guys. We're done here." 

The rest of the boys walked off, further surprising Sterling. He was appalled. He could hardly believe what he was seeing. He dropped to his knees on the sidewalk, just staring at the headless body lying in the middle of the road. He sobbed silently, just confused on what to do. It had happened so quickly, which hurt him the most. Within one second, he was in front of Sterling to defend him. The next, he was gone. Sterling hardly knew who Kenny was, and the boy jumped right in front of him.

When Sterling finally got out of motionless shock, he decided that something needed to be done to the body. Teary-eyed, he dragged it away from the road. He carried Kenny all the way to the McCormick household, vigorously knocking on the door. Yelling was heard, but the door soon swung open. He looked up to see Kenny's father, staring him down. Sterling didn't know what to say. The man didn't appear to be bothered by the fact that his son was now a corpse. 

"What do you want?" He asked, ignoring the body entirely. Sniffling, Sterling lifted up Kenny. "Well what do you want me to do about it?" The man replied. Sterling was truly astonished. 

"I-I'd like to b-bury him..." Sterling said quietly. He had never been in this situation before. He didn't know what to do. "C-can I do it in your yard?" The man sneered, but let Sterling go. He watched from the side as Sterling lowered the body and started to dig. He was offered a shovel, accepting it gratefully. Finally, when the body was buried, Sterling paid his respects. He didn't know Kenny very well, and he admitted it, but he still felt horrible. He had spent an hour at the McCormick house. He couldn't help but feel unwelcome by them. He didn't want to bother them, but he still had no idea why they reacted so lightly to his son's death. 

Of course, his time there wasn't all bad. He had met Kevin, Kenny's older brother, and Karen, his little sister. Karen was, by far, the sweetest girl that Sterling had ever met. She offered to play with him, and he kindly accepted. He spent most of the time trying to figure out how to put it lightly that her brother was dead, but in the end he didn't want to. Karen showed Sterling her stuffed animals, and they talked for a while about school and life. Sterling even helped her with some homework. Kenny's parents offered him dinner, but Sterling politely declined. 

Before Sterling left, he walked to Kenny's grave. He placed a flower down on it. It was just a small dandelion, but it was all he could find. After that, he headed out. Karen bid him goodbye, and Sterling promised to come by again to hang out with her. He walked towards his own house, realizing that he was very late. He was covered in dirt and had some blood on him when he stepped through the door. He hoped that his mother didn't mind him being late, but she was nowhere to be found when he entered. Sterling went upstairs into her room, hoping to find her in her bed. 

As expected, his mother was fast asleep from a hard day of work. Sterling placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and went to his room to do his homework. When he was finished, he placed his clothing in the laundry and scrubbed thd blood off of his shoes. He was still in a state of mourning. Karen did cheer him up a little and make him forget about it, but it still didn't change the fact that Kenny was dead. He saddened up again when he remembered that. It was to protect him. Kenny jumped in front of the punch, and in front of a car, for him. Sterling's throat felt tight. He imagined Karen finding out that his older brother wasn't coming home. He realized this was all his fault. He laid in bed, tearing up again. Kenny had died so young and so fast, and he was the reason behind it. 

Sterling had cried himself to sleep that night, unaware of the figure watching him through the window. 

 

~~~~

 

When Sterling entered the school, he was as depressed as ever. He looked around, wondering why no one appeared any different. A classmate had just died, but no one seemed to notice or care. Did he really not mean anything to them? South Park just continued to shock him. He gathered his books from his locker. He would have to explain to the teacher that he didn't finish his homework because he was busy mourning over Kenny. 

Sterling entered the classroom early, sitting down in his assigned seat. A few people were in the room with him beforehand, but the second the bell rang, students flooded into the room. The teacher had to quiet everyone down because they were all talking to each other. Sterling looked around the room to see if they noticed anything different, but the second he turned to the right, he nearly felt his heart stop.

Kenny fucking McCormick was sitting right in his usual seat, listening to the teacher talk. Sterling paled, raising his hand frantically. He couldn't even find words. He needed to leave. He had to do something to stop him from panicking. The teacher glared at Sterling. 

"Yes, Sterling?" 

Sterling made rapid gestures towards the door. He couldn't get himself to speak. His gaze just shifted from Kenny, to the teacher, to the door. The teacher sighed. 

"Whatever the hell you want to do, just go." 

Sterling didn't hesitate. He ran out as fast as his legs could carry him. He felt like he was going to throw up. He rushed into the bathroom, the image of Kenny's brains scattered across the concrete echoing in his mind. He lost his breakfast in the toilet, coughing soon afterward. His heart pounded as he tried to force himself to calm down. He washed his face off in the bathroom sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He was hyperventilating. He scooped some water up and splashed it on him, drying it off with a paper towel. 

When he looked in the mirror again, he screamed. He turned around and his gaze locked on the bright blue eyes of the blond that haunted him. He was backed up into the bathroom sink, his hands grabbing the sides behind his back. Kenny had stepped nowhere near him. He remained beside the wall opposite to the sink, staring at Sterling. Finally, he decided to talk. 

"You... remember?..." 

Sterling was still trying to calm down. He was trying to figure out how this happened. Was he speaking to a ghost? He trembled at the sight of the other boy. "Y-y-yes..." Sterling finally stuttered out. Why was he asking the questions here? Sterling had seen him die. He should be asking the questions. "You were dead! You are dead! I-I saw you..." Sterling started to cry. Kenny reached his hands out, trying to soothe Sterling. 

"Shh! Shh... It's okay... Calm down..." Kenny reached out, gently grasping Sterling's shoulders. "Take deep breaths, okay? I'll explain as best as I can..." Kenny barely spoke above a whisper, keeping his focus on Sterling's face. Sterling let out shaky breaths, eventually calming himself down enough to listen. "Are you good?" Kenny asked, recieving a quiet nod from Sterling. 

"Yeah..." 

"Alright... I know you probably want to scream right now, but don't. I saw you carry my body away. I was there the whole time." Kenny smiled sadly. "I can't die. I have died countless times before you arrived here. I always wake up right in my bed awaiting a new day. I'm immortal." 

Sterling couldn't understand it. Was that why none of the kids cared about him dying? Did they just know he would come back? "Well... It still shouldn't be ignored. You're just tossed to the side by everyone?" 

"They don't remember it. Very few do, and one of them is Cartman." 

Sterling looked depressed. He had a right to be. Immortality sounded lonely. He supposed he could never understand what Kenny went through. "I'm sorry..." 

"No no no, none of this is your fault. Eighteen years ago, my parents were part of a cult. They had me, and then that was that. They don't remember it, or at least they tell me they don't remember it. I can hardly explain it myself." Kenny sighed, removing his hands from Sterling's shoulders. "I've got secrets. I'm sure you do too. From what I saw while I was dead, I think I can trust you." Kenny smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You have a good head on your shoulders. Even though it wasn't necessary, I appreciate you burying me." 

With that, Kenny flicked his hood up. He walked casually out of the bathroom, leaving Sterling to reconsider everything he knew about the boy. Sterling slowly released his grip on the sink as if he wasn't ready to let go of something, bringing his hands around to his front and putting them in his jacket pockets. 

He had a lot to think about.


	2. Chapter 2

Sterling headed down the sidewalk, listening to the music coming through his earbuds. He made his way to Kenny's house, admiring the neighborhood. Just because Kenny wasn't dead didn't mean he would go back on his promise to see Karen again. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he did that to her. Sterling hummed a bit as he headed down the sidewalk, noticing how even the grass became less healthy the closer he got to the McCormick household. He really did pity them. He would never say that out loud, but it held on in his mind. He took out his earbuds as he got to the front door of their house. From what he knew, Kenny was most likely hanging out with Stan, Cartman, and Kyle. That was fine, as he wasn't really there to see him anyway.

Kenny's mother answered the door this time. 

"Hello," Sterling said cheerfully. "Is Karen home? She wanted me to tutor her and give her homework help." 

"Oh! Aren't you the boy that came by yesterday? Sure! She's in the dining room." 

Sterling thanked her and walked in. He saw Kenny's father sitting on the couch watching television, and they exchanged glances. "Come by for Kenny? He ain't here." Kenny's dad raised a brow. Sterling merely shook his head.

"No, sir. I'm here to help Karen with her homework."

Upon hearing her name, Karen walked out of the dining room. The second she saw Sterling, she beamed. "Sterling! You're back again."

"Of course! I told you I'd be helping you out with school." Sterling followed Karen into the dining room. Almost immediately they got to work. Sterling taught Karen some tips and tricks for math that apparently wasn't taught in their school, and she showed Sterling some of her own ideas. Karen finished her homework rather quickly, making Sterling wonder why she even needed his help. 

"You're in Kenny's grade, right?" Karen tilted her head. Sterling nodded. 

"I don't know him too well, though. He talks to some people I'd rather not get involved with. He's nice enough." Sterling shrugged. There wasn't much else he could say. He wasn't about to just come out and confess that he knew her brother was actually immortal and he apparently was one of the few people that remembered him dying, along with the fact that he watched his head get crushed by a speeding car. That would be way too much information for her. Hell, he didn't even want to know it. 

"Well, I think you're nice too! Not a lot of people talk to me." Karen frowned. "I have some friends, but not a whole lot." Sterling felt his heart tighten at that. He couldn't help it, he just felt so bad. She didn't deserve this, but there wasn't much he could do to make her life better. 

"Keep smiling, kiddo. You're smart and kind. That will certainly get you far in life." Sterling offered her a grin, which was returned. Karen packed her work away, and Sterling got up from the table. He looked around the house, noting the drawn on walls and dirt that covered most of the rooms. It really needed to be cleaned, but Sterling wasn't going to say anything about it. If he criticized their home, he might not be allowed over again. He could only imagine just what made the house so dirty. 

"Are you going to come by tomorrow and help me again?" Karen asked. Sterling nodded.

"I don't think you need the help, but I'll gladly come over." 

Sterling made his way to the front door, Kenny's mom thanking him for the help, which was returned with a thank you for letting him come over. Sterling stepped out of the house, closing the door behind him. Turning around, Sterling's face made contact with someone's chest. Sterling backed up, the other person doing the same. Sterling looked up to see Kenny towering over him. He didn't know what to make of the other male's face. He waved at Kenny, who raised a brow. 

"What are you doing here?" Kenny asked, clearly confused. 

"Karen asked me to give her homework help yesterday after I buried you. Now I guess she made me her tutor. I really didn't want to let her down by not showing up, but I don't think she even needs one." Sterling stared sheepishly up at Kenny. "I hope you don't think I'm weird or anything... I honest to God did not come here for you." 

Kenny was silent for longer than Sterling felt comfortable. But Kenny started snickering from under his parka and Sterling pouted. "She doesn't need your help, she's just lonely. I'm just glad she's opening up more. She really is shy, I'm surprised she talked to you the first time. At least now she isn't just talking to me." Kenny paused a moment before adding. "You wanna stick around? I don't have much for us to do, but it wouldn't hurt to stay for dinner. Afterwards, maybe we can walk around town?"

Sterling's discomfort returned. He had nothing against Kenny or his family, but he didn't necessarily know how to feel about them. Kenny's mother and father were... interesting people, and Sterling could almost sense that there was a problem in that house while he wasn't around. They hadn't even said anything to give him that impression, but Sterling could feel it. Kenny noticed Sterling tense up, understanding that the other boy had some clue of what went on. "I can't. I have a lot of work to do. I promise you, I'll do it tomorrow night." 

Sterling started to walk off. Kenny called out with a light laugh. "Alright Sterling! You promised, so you'd better be here!" 

Sterling's eyes widened and he turned around, watching Kenny head inside. That smug bastard understood exactly what he said. So he knew Sterling's name after all. Sterling raced to his house to get ahead on his homework.

When Sterling stepped in the house, he was greeted by his mother, who was sitting on the couch watching television. She asked him how his day was, which granted her a vague response from the boy. It wasn't like she particularly cared anyway, Sterling knew that. He headed upstairs to do his homework, reading somewhat ahead in the book they were analyzing just so he didn't have to worry about that section the next day. It didn't matter anyway. He couldn't focus. All he could think about was Kenny actually remembering his name, or at least being courteous enough to use it. There was also the fact that he was trusted, and that he actually wanted to spend time with him. 

That had to be the hardest thing. Sterling actually wanted to get to know him better. He had told himself since day one that Kenny McCormick was a trap that Sterling wouldn't dare step in. But now it felt like he was getting tossed into it, not unlike Kenny flinging himself in front of Cartman's punch and, furthermore, a speeding car. Sterling felt his face heat up, more out of frustration than anything else. He couldn't believe he was actually going through with this. He allowed himself to dive too deep, and it wouldn't be long before he'd start drowning. Sterling forced himself to finish his homework, finally slamming the book shut when he was done. He put his things away, heading back downstairs to talk to his mom. 

"Hey, mom?" Sterling asked. His mother perked up, pausing the television. 

"Yes, hun?" 

"I'm going to be late getting home tomorrow. I've volunteered to tutor children after school and they are having a long meeting tomorrow night about it." Although it wasn't true, it technically wasn't wrong either. Sterling knew anything that had the potential to give him credits towards his education was an instant yes from his mother. 

"That's great. Get your work done, okay?" Sterling's mother turned back to the television. Sterling sighed, heading back upstairs. Sometimes it felt as if his mother hardly noticed the effort he put into school. She just sat and collected the report cards, telling him what still needed improvement. He had learned to stop looking for her approval a long time ago. It wasn't worth all the effort. If Sterling were to work hard, it was for him. 

Sterling walked back upstairs, laying down on his bed. He pressed his face to the pillow and just relaxed. He played some music and rested, but a small vibration from his phone suggested that he got a text. Upon checking it, he found out that it was from Wendy. 

Wendy: Stan told me what happened yesterday. I'm sorry about that.

Sterling: It wasn't your fault! Besides, he's not actually gone, he's fine!

Wendy: What are you talking about?

Sterling wanted to hope she would know about Kenny's deaths, but in the end, as Kenny had said, there was almost no one out there. With a sigh, Sterling continued. 

Sterling: Sorry about that. It was meant for someone else. I don't think Stan is terrible, I just don't see why you go through with dating him and breaking up with him in a loop. I'm not suggesting myself as a better option though.

Wendy: I didn't think you were doing that either, so don't worry. We can still be friends. I already told you why I continue to date him. Besides, I don't exactly... Swing that way.

Sterling: Way to put it.

Wendy: :<

Sterling huffed. He knew that she wouldn't ever go out with him. He had just learned to accept that very few people were actually open to dating him. He thought about Kenny, but he wanted to shake the boy out of his head. He supposed he just couldn't win. The next question he had for Wendy was incredibly difficult to send. 

Sterling: What do you know about Kenny?

He wished he could take it back, but Wendy had already seen it by the indicatior beside the text. He saw her typing, and prepared himself for her to pick on him or question his sanity. Wendy most likely wouldn't do that, she was too nice to him. But her answer was expected. 

Wendy: Why do you care about Kenny? 

Sterling deadpanned. Why did he care about Kenny? There was nothing particularly interesting about him, other than the fact that he was immortal. He supposed he felt like he owed something to Kenny for saving him a punch, and now that Sterling thought about it, Kenny had saved his life as well. If Cartman had punched him, it could have been him landing in the road and getting crushed. Just the thought made him shiver. 

Sterling: I dunno. I suppose he's nice. 

Wendy: Hon, you are going for the wrong person. He's the poorest boy in South Park and a total perv. There is nothing he can do for you. 

"He saved my life," Sterling thought to himself. "That's one hell of a nothing." He wouldn't type that. Wendy could never understand.

Sterling: Woah woah woah! It's not like I'm going out with him! I was just curious. 

Wendy: Mhm. 

Sterling could sense the sass in her text. 

Wendy: I suppose you could just ask him yourself. I don't know a whole lot about him other than what I told you. 

Sterling: Fine. I'll do that. I bet you want me to. 

Wendy: You know me too well. Talk to you tomorrow!

Sterling shut off his phone. He considered going downstairs and playing video games, but his mom was watching television and he didn't want to bother her. He settled on browsing the internet as he let his mind wander. Mostly, he thought about how he unintentionally set himself up for a dinner with a family and a technical date with a guy he hardly knew. Sterling rolled over on his bed. 

What could he do? 

 

~~~~

When Kenny stepped through the door to his house, he was greeted to his father watching advertisements on television and his mother at least attempting to clean the house. His brother was most likely in his room and Karen was around somewhere. He walked past the couch, his father stopping him from proceeding to the dining room. 

"Who's that boy that keeps coming over?"

Kenny shrugged, but he was grinning behind his parka. "Sterling. He's a new kid. I invited him over for dinner tomorrow, if that's okay. He's helping Karen with school." Kenny figured he could at least give a decent excuse for having the boy over. His father didn't seem too pleased, but Kenny's mother was fine with it.

"Sure, Ken. We have some frozen waffles. Maybe your friend will like that." 

Kenny nodded his head, heading into the dining room. He greeted Karen, who looked sad before he showed up. "Kenny!" She exclaimed, even though it wasn't very loud. She gave Kenny a hug, who happily returned it. "Sterling came over, you just missed him."

"I didn't miss him. We talked out front. He's staying for dinner tomorrow." 

"Really?" Karen asked. "I like him, he's nice to me." 

"That's good," Kenny mumbled. "Glad to see you two getting along." 

"Is he your friend?" 

"I suppose you could say that. We don't talk much in school." Kenny figured out why. He was thankful that it wasn't his fault and Sterling just didn't like Cartman, which was completely understandable. 

"Do you want to get to know him?" 

Kenny paused. He smiled sheepishly down at his younger sister. "I guess I do..." He admitted. Karen laughed and Kenny playfully shoved her. He wondered what Sterling knew about him, or what was rumoured about him. The rumours were true, but he hoped he wasn't a serious disappointment to Sterling.

Karen went upstairs while Kenny stepped outside. He made his way to the corner of the messy yard. Eventually his foot touched the exposed soil that had been freshly dug up. Kenny stared down at the large patch of dirt that Sterling had dug up and buried his body in. He picked up the flower that Sterling had left on the dirt, examining it with a sigh. 

It wasn't necessary, but Sterling had put time and effort into giving Kenny a proper burial. Meanwhile, his friends had watched him die over and over again, forgetting it every time, and no one offered to take care of the body. Over time, Kenny just got used to it. He felt as if he wasn't worth the effort. He was almost mad at Sterling. Where had he been for the first 17 years of his life? Kenny's smile only widened as he stared down at the grave. It was nothing special, but it was his, and it was the best that Sterling could do. 

Sterling was like a gift to Kenny, and for once in his life, he wouldn't generously give it away.


	3. Chapter 3

Having to get up in the morning to go to school never failed to make Sterling miserable. There were very few things that Sterling looked forward to in school, and one of those things was being able to come home after it. Still, Sterling wouldn't outright complain about that. He considered himself a good student, and good students didn't complain about going to school. Sterling hoped to change that stereotype, but he still had bigger problems to deal with. 

The problem was Kenny. Kenny was somehow digging into Sterling's head and burrowing in his mind to bug him non-stop. Sterling couldn't help but think of the poor but optimistic boy whenever he had the chance. His home life was awful, and Sterling found himself trailing back to Kenny's family, especially Karen, who he appeared to really care for. He couldn't forget the smug grin of the blond when he knew he got to Sterling, or how he could tell that the other male was smiling behind his parka hood even though his mouth wasn't visible. The light blue eyes of the mysterious boy bore into Sterling's thoughts, reminding him of gemstones, or the sky on a bright and sunny day. Sterling shook his head. He needed to stop. 

Sterling's walk to school was very uneventful. He continued across the street towards the school with his earbuds in as if nothing around him mattered. However, he hadn't been paying attention to the world around him. Crossing sidewalks, speeding cars found their way around him, muggers and thieves just seemed to avoid him, even homeless people didn't approach. It seemed as if every potential threat merely avoided Sterling. The boy, of course, didn't seem to notice. To him, minus the introduction of Kenny to his life, it was still a boring day. 

Sterling entered the school to the sound of everyone scurrying to get to their classes. He was greeted by Butters, who followed him to class. "Hiya New Kid!" Sterling gave a nod, acknowledging Butters's existence. "What are you doin' after school? Can I come over?" 

"Not tonight," Sterling replied. "I have a..." What did he have? Sterling tried to think of something quick. 

"A date? You have a date tonight?" Butters grinned. "With who?"

"No!" 

"Did I hear that you have a date with someone?" Wendy, Bebe, and Red approached Sterling and Butters. Sterling's face was red and he could hardly even speak. He just wanted to get through the school day so he could go to Kenny's house and study. "Sterling? Are you okay?" 

Rather than replying, Sterling turned on his heel and rushed to class as fast as his legs could take him. He couldn't handle the embarrassment. He grabbed his books from his locker and headed to class. He knew that they had the same class, so he would have to deal with them anyway, but he at least didn't have to stand in the hallway while everyone was waiting for a response. He rushed into the room quickly and sat down at his desk, surprising the people already in the room. He took out his supplies and homework, avoiding eye contact with everyone. 

When the bell rang, teens flooded the room, having to be settled down by the teacher. Sterling could have sworn he heard his name and "date" mentioned there, but pretended that he wasn't listening. After the teacher quieted everyone down, he got on with the lesson. Sterling didn't think he could possibly be more bored with the lecture they were given. His gaze always shifted between other students to the clock. Of course, he managed to catch Kenny right on time as the blond was staring right back at him. He quickly turned away, but in his peripheral vision he could tell he was laughing at him. He sighed and tried to pay attention to the teacher. 

The day went by at a crawling pace. Sterling was surprised he hadn't fallen asleep in class. When lunch rolled around, he faced the inevitable questions from his friends about his little "date". 

"So?" Wendy asked. "Is it true that you have a date?" Sterling could tell she knew who it was with, judging by her face. Sterling regretted his conversation with her last night.

"No..." Sterling grumbled, his cheeks red. 

"I can totally tell that he has a date. Just look at his face!" Bebe chimed. Sterling huffed. 

"Who is it with?" Red asked. Sterling didn't want to shoot her down, but at the same time he knew what she would say if he told her. Besides, Sterling hardly considered it a date. He was just having dinner with Kenny's family and possibly walking home with him later. It was no big deal. 

"None of your business," Sterling replied as gently as possible to not hurt her feelings.

"Must be a pretty mysterious person! Is it a guy or a girl?" Bebe pressed on. 

Sterling got up from the lunch table. He saw Wendy pat Bebe's shoulder to get her to stop bombarding the poor boy with questions. "I'm going to my locker," he said. "I'll meet you guys in class." He went to scrape his tray, heading towards the door. He stepped out into the hallway, making his way towards his locker. It was like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders when he was finally alone. He wandered past rooms and allowed himself to calm down. He hadn't expected so many people to be nosy. He was at least thankful that Wendy understood and respected him. 

Sterling opened his locker, taking out a book. He didn't actually need anything from it, but he wasn't about to just do nothing in front of it. He needed an excuse to be there. He put away his other things to lift the weight of his backpack, organizing his locker to busy himself until the bell rang. He could only hope that a teacher didn't come by and catch on to what he was doing. 

"Well hello~" 

Sterling slammed his locker shut so hard that he expected it to break. His eyes were wide as they flicked to none other than Kenny, who was leaning on the locker beside him. 

"I didn't think we were calling this a date, but I don't mind..." The blond purred, a teasing smile plastered on his face. Sterling pushed him away playfully, the blond just chuckling in response. "Don't get mad at me, you somehow managed to get the news out fast. I know that you didn't intend to." Kenny's smile faded as he ceased his taunting. "Do they know it's me?" 

Sterling was actually worried by the way Kenny asked that question. It almost sounded as if Kenny was ashamed of himself. Sterling's expression shifted to what he was thinking. He moved to put his hand on Kenny's shoulder but the blond moved it away. "Really. You don't have to let them know. I understand." 

"No, Kenny-" 

"You're concerned about what they're going to say. I get it." Kenny sighed, offering Sterling a sympathetic smile. The other male frowned. He wasn't about to just let him get away with saying such things. 

"Kenny Goddamn McCormick, you are by far the kindest person I have met in this town. Even Wendy wouldn't risk herself to help me. You died for me! Sure, it happens all the time, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate it. The point is, you care. You hardly even knew me. Hell, I didn't know you! But I'd like to." Sterling tensed up as he spoke, his face stern as he practically scolded the boy in front of him. "I will tell those girls about you. I am not ashamed to hang out with you. You are an incredible person!" 

Kenny waited for Sterling to calm himself before he spoke up again. "Thank you..." he whispered. "Just for remembering me..." He pushed himself off the locker he was leaning on, standing up straight. "Wait for me in front of the school. I'll walk you to my house." 

And with that, he proceeded down the hallway. 

Sterling watched as Kenny left, his eyes following the boy until he was gone. He gulped, taking his time heading back to the cafeteria. He still didn't want to deal with them, but he already yelled at Kenny so there was no going back. 

He had heard some of the things girls said about Kenny. Some were decent, but others bothered the male. They talked about how he was attractive, but also how he was dirt poor, had no future, and was a pervert and even a prostitute. Sterling doubted the last part. He couldn't see Kenny seeping to such levels. He couldn't care less about what they had to say about Kenny. He didn't deserve to be degraded for his status. He was a good person, and Sterling wouldn't allow them to speak badly of him. 

Sterling stepped through the door of the cafeteria, a look of determination crossing his face. He headed over to the girls table, bracing himself for his confession. Just as he was about to get there, the bell rang. Everyone got up and separated towards their own classes, leaving Sterling behind in the cafeteria. He stared in awe at his bad timing. Eventually, he snapped out of it and headed to class. 

 

~~~~

After school, Sterling had waited outside just like he was supposed to do. He watched the other students leave with their friends, chatting and laughing. Sterling leaned against the front of the school, nearly dozing off. He overworked himself the night before in order to finish tonight's homework so he wouldn't have to stay up until the ungodly hours of the morning. School certainly didn't help to keep him awake. He didn't expect to stay too late with Kenny, but just in case he had prepared himself.

Sterling felt a tap on his shoulder, turning to see the familiar orange parka. "Hey Ken..." Sterling muttered sleepily. Kenny could tell he was exhausted. 

"Was school that bad today?" 

Sterling blinked, trying to figure out what he meant before he shot up in realization. "No! It's fine! I just did my homework the night before. I was going to have to." He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Are you ready to go?" 

"Yep!" Kenny chirped. He started walking, Sterling catching up to him to walk alongside the blond. "We don't have much, but at least we don't have nothing."

Sterling smiled as he listened to Kenny. He hadn't expected Kenny to have a big dinner prepared, he was just happy to be there. Sterling saw Kenny as a friend, someone he wanted to help. He was also there for Karen. He didn't have to witness their family interaction first-hand to know it was terrible. He was there to block it. He saw himself as a shield for them. Their parents wouldn't fight in order to give a good impression when he was around, so he hoped to come by often. 

"What's for dinner?" Sterling asked. 

"Waffles," Kenny said. 

"Sounds nice!" 

"No it doesn't," Kenny replied, still smiling. He put his hands in his jacket pockets. "Do you parents know you're coming here?" 

"Kinda..." Sterling muttered. "My mom thinks I'm at a dinner for an after school tutoring program. I mean, technically it's not wrong." Sterling shrugged. 

"So she's one of those types," Kenny nodded. "She won't like me talking to you then." 

"Why not? I had plenty of poor friends where I used to live." 

Kenny paused. He wasn't sure how to reply. "If you say so," Kenny murmured, ending the conversation. They arrived at his house quickly, the trash in the yard marking the beginning of the lower class part of the town. Sterling disregarded it. He wouldn't let that bother him. 

"Last chance to turn around and head back."

"After doing all that homework last night? Hell no!" 

Kenny chuckled, approaching the front door and pulling it open. Sterling took a deep breath. He could only hope this would end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is still so much that Sterling doesn't know about both himself and Kenny. As to not spoil anything hinted at, I leave you with this. 
> 
> It begins...


	4. Chapter 4

When Kenny opened the door, Sterling soon realized he may have been overreacting by holding his breath. He quickly released it, toying with the sleeve of his navy blue sweatshirt. He didn't know what to expect, but he knew this whole experience was going to at least be a little awkward. After all, he had come and gone from Kenny's house multiple times and didn't do much to introduce himself or tell his family too much about him. Although they didn't seem to mind, he couldn't help but tell they were uncomfortable with him being around so much. Sterling assumed they didn't get many visitors. He was going to have to play it safe and make sure not to make them feel ashamed of their living condition. 

Karen was the first person to come up to them. Of course she had expected Sterling to show up for tutoring, so it wasn't surprising. He greeted her with a wave and a smile. Kenny's father was sitting on the couch watching television, but his eyes seemed to follow Sterling as he moved, as if silently analyzing the boy and trying to pinpoint if anything was off about him. Sterling couldn't help but be nervous. He moved closer to Kenny, who paid him no mind as he listened to Karen explain how her day went at school. Sterling couldn't help but grin at that. She was beaming around Kenny. 

Kenny decided to lead Sterling on a tour of the house before they settled down for dinner. Karen followed after quietly, sticking to Kenny's side. It must have been a while before they had anyone over their house. Kenny stopped Karen from entering his room, which instantly made Sterling more nervous towards what they were going to do. Would he have to tell Kenny he wasn't looking to move towards his feelings? How did Kenny even know he had feelings for him? Was this going a little too fast? Was he just being paranoid?

Kenny closed the door behind them once they were both in the room. He turned to see Sterling's wide gaze and returned a confused look. 

"I don't let Karen in here because I have a shit ton of porn." 

Sterling paused for a few seconds, before he started to laugh. He had gotten riled up for nothing. Kenny gave him a sheepish grin and shrugged his shoulders, not sure what was so funny about the whole situation. 

From what Sterling could see, the room was small and basically empty. Kenny seemed to collect some things, possibly from past adventures Sterling had been informed of by Kyle. A few lewd and questionable posters littered Kenny's wall, and, yes, there was a plethora of pornography. Magazines were shoved in various places, but it was almost in an organized mess sort of way. Sterling could admire it, at least Kenny respected the few things he had. Even if the room was dirty in a few definitions of the term, Kenny somehow made it work. 

Kenny headed towards the window, sticking his head out and looking into the backyard. He was just in view of his grave, which he had replaced the flower on. He stared at it for a while, leaning calmly on the windowsill while he kneeled on the floor. Sterling joined him at his side to find out what he was looking at. 

"Oh… You didn't get rid of it?" Sterling turned to Kenny quizzically. 

"Why would I do that?" Kenny asked.

"Well… You die all the time. Isn't a grave sort of redundant? You could save that space for more of your yard. Not have a memorial for some small mistake that was just one of thousands of accidents?" 

"Mistake?" Kenny mumbled with wide eyes, tilting his head. Sterling thought he had offended Kenny, but the other male's voice simply sounded innocent. 

"Yeah. I mean, maybe I didn't word that right I'm sorry." Sterling bit his lip with guilt. Kenny simply beamed at him. Sterling's gaze shifted from the grave to his face, only to quickly flick back again. He just didn't get anything about this boy. Kenny was an absolute mystery to him, and he felt obligated to aolve it. It wasn't only a job; it was a challenge. Sterling couldn't see why the poor teen was showing his teeth, signifying his amusement with the bluenette. "See? I don't get why you can be so happy! I messed up and you ended up dying for it. I mean, now I know you do it all the time so it's kind of no big deal but it IS a big deal and- why are you laughing?" 

"You don't understand. You remember me." Kenny shook his head. 

"What?" 

"I lived a good portion of my life knowing every single time I suffered, it would mean nothing. Imagine the first time I died. I'm deprived of staying down. Most people would think that's cool. And yeah, it kinda is. But it's so painful! And no one even knows your effort was worth something. I've died a thousand times for no reason!" Kenny flung out his arms for emphasis. 

Sterling looked down at the grave. "So, why is that any different?" 

"Because you remembered that I matter. My friends don't do that. Sure, you didn't know I would come back so maybe I'm just assuming or something, but even the first time I died no one made an effort. It's a really small burial and it was makeshift from probably shock, but it's mine. And you put in the effort. No, I didn't die as a mistake when I took that punch. I took that punch." 

Sterling couldn't help but feel sappy and guilty. He forced himself to look at everything except Kenny, who was expecting as much. Sterling felt a small smile touch his features, resting his chin on the windowsill and watching the grave. 

"Thank you..." He murmured. 

"You're welcome!" Kenny chimed, patting Sterling on the shoulder. "Now!" He stood up and stretched his back. "Why don't we head downstairs and I show you some of the things we can do with next to nothing?" 

"Sounds great, Ken." 

 

~~~~~

 

When dinner rolled around, everyone gathered around the table. Sterling had never been one to do family dinners unless there were specific holidays and his mother invited everyone over, so he knew this wasn't going to be comfortable from the beginning. Sterling sat beside Kenny, and Karen stuck to her brother's side. Kevin and Kenny's mother sat on the opposite side, leaving Kenny's father at the head of the table. They each had paper plates with toasted frozen waffles, and plastic utensils for poking at the undercooked meals. Kenny subconsciously checked Sterling every once in a while to see if there was any distaste in his eyes, but he was met with none. The table was fairly quiet, probably because Sterling was here. Eventually, Kenny's mother did decide to speak up. 

"So! Do you have any friends other than Kenny?" 

"Uh, I- yes! Yes I do. I mostly hang out with the girls," Sterling admitted lamely. They understood him, which made things easy in the difficult world of high school. They also didn't judge him, nor did they drag him into terrible situations that had the potential to be humiliating and dangerous. They weren't going to cheat him or hurt him, or use him. The more Sterling thought about it, the worse he felt for Kenny. 

"That's nice. A real go-getter for the ladies. I heard you're the new kid in town. Where'd ya come from?" 

"I lived in New England. That's why I'm kind of already fine with the cold weather. Of course there it's sort of unpredictable, and annoying at times." 

"Hm. Well I'm glad to hear yer gettin along well with the other kids!" 

Sterling didn't have the nerve to tell her they weren't really kids, so he just kept quiet as usual. All these questions were to make conversation. Sterling knew they weren't trying to push themselves into his personal life. He looked across the table at Kenny's dad, who was still staring at him. Sterling didn't look at him for too long, but he could still see him out of his peripheral vision. It was almost as if the man were trying to solve a puzzle, and he just didn't have all the pieces. Sterling finished his waffle when Kenny's mother finally decided to break the awkward silence.

"So where are yer parents?" She asked. "They can come over too, y'know." 

Sterling fidgeted in his seat. Kenny took some notice of it, but didn't say anything. The bluenette decided to answer anyway. 

"Well my mom is working all the time. Almost all the time. I sort of live with her because my parents aren't exactly together." 

"Well where's yer dad?"

Kenny's mother looked sympathetic. Not a lot of people in school knew anything about Sterling's personal life. Sterling didn't really like to talk about himself all that much, especially when it came down to his family. He didn't live nearly as bad as Kenny did, but his home life wasn't exactly perfect either. Kenny seemed to get that Sterling didn't want to talk anymore and nodded to him subtly. 

"I think I'm gonna go to my room for a little while with Sterling and then bring him back home."

Kenny got up from the table and took his and Sterling's plates with him. Sterling followed soon after, but not before thanking Kenny's parents for the dinner and letting him stay over. Kenny's father seemed to give a questionable glare to his wife, who started to chastise him for not saying anything. Sterling could hear their arguing from the hallway as he proceeded behind Kenny. 

 

~~~~~

 

He followed Kenny back to his room, where Kenny plopped himself on his old and wrecked bed. Sterling stood by the doorway until Kenny sat up and pat the side of the bed. Sterling sighed and joined him. He was exhausted. He couldn't help but lay back like Kenny had been doing previously. The bed smelled like ash and dust and Kenny. He brushed that last thought from his head, his face heating up. He leaned his head back, taking in the scent of the bed. 

"I think today went okay," Kenny hummed.

"I guess so."

"I know they seem kind of weird, but they like you." 

"Why does your dad keep looking at me like that?" Sterling turned on the bed, facing Kenny. 

"Maybe he's just confused on something. You might look familiar." Kenny shrugged. It sounded like he knew a little more, but didn't press on it. Sterling shook his head. 

"He thinks I'm a girl, doesn't he?" 

Now it was Kenny's turn to look at him. "What? No. Nah! He's probably getting over a hangover or something! I wouldn't take it too badly. You're fine."

Sterling knew he probably wasn't right, but he sighed anyway. "Okay. If you say so." 

"Don't let it bother you. What they think of you and what you actually are might be very different. I think you're fine." 

"Don't say it like that," Sterling muttered, his smile reaching through his voice. He turned to lay on his stomach, planting his face in the bed. Kenny watched for a moment before suddenly getting a bit nervous. 

"That's a bold move for someone in a room full of porn." 

Sterling picked his head up immediately. He was right. That was a very bad idea. Why did he have to remind him? He settled on rolling back over on his side and looking at Kenny. 

"You're a good friend. Why in the ever-loving fuck do you hang out with Cartman?" 

Kenny frowned. "Well, we've been friends for as long as I can remember. Sure he's a God awful person, but he's still one of the group. I can't explain it. I suppose he's entertaining." 

Sterling thought back to all the things they had apparently been through. "All those things you did when you were younger. Kyle told me what he's done." 

"Listen, new kid." 

Sterling made a face at being called new kid. Kenny wasn't trying to be rude, but he supposed it was for emphasis. 

"You have no clue what kind of stuff goes on in this town. It's ridiculous what everyone can get away with and what they can't get away with. Cartman can get away with anything. There is no stopping him. No one was around to stop us from doing all that stupid shit when we were kids, mostly because even the adults were busy with stupid shit. This whole town is like a hell on earth. You haven't scratched the surface of what can go wrong here." 

Sterling wanted to protest. He couldn't help but feel like he was being talked down to, but at the same time Kenny was right. He hadn't seen what this town was capable of. He'd heard stories, and seen some recklessness, but he had never been involved with the sort of craziness this town had to offer. He wondered if he ever would. He wondered if it was better for him that he didn't. 

"Don't get yourself involved with Cartman. If not for your sake than for mine. Try to stay as far away from him as possible. Don't look at him don't initiate conversation with him… Just try, okay?" 

"You say that as if I haven't been trying since the beginning." 

"I know." Kenny huffed. "I guess I'm just worried." 

"About what? I can handle myself." Sterling tried to offer him a reassuring smile. 

"You can, but that doesn't stop Cartman." 

They both went silent for a while. Kenny seemed to be gone in thought and Sterling was too scared to say something wrong. He didn't think Kenny could be so serious, especially about someone else's safety. He really did care, probably too much. After all, they didn't know enough about each other. 

Eventually, Kenny hopped off the bed. "So! Shall I bring you home now?" He offered his hand to Sterling to help pull him off the bed. Sterling stared at it for a second before taking it and lifting himself up. 

"Sure!"


	5. Chapter 5

The walk home was fairly quiet, with an occasional attempt at small talk which was quickly whisked away into more silence. Sterling's mind dwindled on the thought of Kenny's miniature speech on the town of South Park. He said quite a bit that was rather vague and vast. Kyle had given more specific examples of how the town screwed everyone over on most occasions when they spoke to each other in class or the halls. He was more open about how horrible Cartman was to them, but maybe that was just because he and Kyle had an apparent rivalry since the beginning. Sterling couldn't believe half the things Kyle said, like aliens and robots attacking and giant guinea pigs, but after seeing Kenny die before his very eyes and suddenly come back completely fine, he was beginning to have second thoughts. 

"So you're telling me that giant guinea pigs attacked the whole town like cloverfield? Kyle wasn't bullshitting me?" 

"Yup! I wasn't there to see the attack on the town. I heard it from other people. Craig could tell you more about it. He's apparently like a god of guinea pigs or something from Peru. He still has cool laser vision eyes from that event, but he doesn't really use them." 

Sterling made a mental note to check in with Craig and get the whole story. He was sure he wouldn't get much unless he kept asking questions, but it was probably worth bothering the boy. 

"And Al Gore almost killed all of you because-"

"He was looking for a manbearpig. It's like a man, but more bear-pig-like. Cartman ate a literal shitload of fake treasure and we all almost died in a cave because of him." 

They talked back and forth about all the stories Kyle told him, Kenny elaborating further up until the point where he would normally die.

"I was squished by an elevator."

"I was throttled by a giant bird."

"I got electrocuted."

Sterling was beginning to believe that Kenny saying he died thousands of times was an understatement. Kenny could see Sterling listening intently to his stories, smiling at how he looked like a child paying full attention to a fantasy tale. It was far from fantasy. It was like a horrible nightmare, and it was painful and very real. 

As they walked along the sidewalk, Kenny noticed a number of coins on the ground. Sterling seemed to be oblivious to it, moving along and talking to Kenny. Kenny had never seen so many pennies. The copper coins trailed down the sidewalk, leading to a sudden stop at the street corner. He decided to pick one up, putting it in his pocket before hurrying after Sterling. 

When they arrived at Sterling's house, he almost didn't want to leave. They had been talking long enough that it felt strange to just go back to silence for a while. Of course, he had school tomorrow, so it wasn't like he wouldn't see him there. Kenny waited by the street while Sterling headed up the steps to his house. He opened the door, finding the house dark. He sighed and entered, waving goodbye to Kenny. 

"See you tomorrow!" Kenny chimed.

Sterling nodded to him, giving a thumbs up before turning and heading inside. He stumbled into the house, quickly finding the light switch. He found his way through the house while flicking lights on and off until he reached his room, collapsing on his bed. He didn't realize how heavy his head felt until he touched the bed. He kicked off his shoes to the floor below, not bothering to change into pajamas. He collapsed on the bed and fell asleep rather quickly, merely glad he didn't have work to do.

Kenny waited outside for a minute or two before starting to walk away from his house. He enjoyed the night he had with Sterling, but there was still so much left to witness. He felt regret for initially talking down to Sterling about what he didn't know and couldn't control, but he was glad he recieved the chance to redeem himself when Sterling started to talk about Kyle's recollections of the events in their past. In no way did Kenny condone inviting Sterling to one of their schemes. 

"I trust his judgement. He's curious, not an idiot." Kenny thought to himself as he walked down the street. He would have to show him something himself. He'd rather Sterling not see anything dangerous in South Park, but it was practically unavoidable. He couldn't protect someone from a whole place, especially if they live there. He walked down the street and took a turn at the corner in deep thought. However, when he reached it, he stopped. His eyes widened as he looked at the street. The concrete that was once glistening with copper was now bland and gray. 

Where had all the pennies gone? 

 

~~~~~~

 

The next day, Sterling got ready to go to school. He didn't want to go anywhere, but he didn't do all that homework for nothing. He pushed himself out of bed and reminded himself that he had one more day until the weekend. He just needed to last until today and then he could relax for the next two days. This thought was what motivated him to get up and get ready. He brushed his messy hair to no avail and fixed his outfit, a normal navy blue hoodie and his black and white striped shirt with a pair of jeans and some boots for the snow. He had a small scar on the side of his cheek, but he always covered it up with a band-aid. It had long healed over, but he decided to keep it covered. His mother never said anything about it, so he kept it. 

Sterling walked to school quickly, arriving early and having to wait outside. He checked his phone for any messages, surprised to find a few from Wendy. 

[Sent at 5:23 pm]

Wendy: Hey. Sterling? I wanted to talk. 

Wendy: Sterling. Hello? You there?

Wendy: Alright. I'll try again later.

[Sent at 8:46 pm]

Wendy: Hello?

Sterling was immediately overrun with embarrassment. He had completely ignored his phone at Kenny's house, and, moreover, Wendy. She said she wanted to talk to him, but about what? Sterling didn't know if he wanted to find out. From anything he heard in the past, it is a death penalty to ignore a girl when she wants to talk, and he doubted Wendy was an exception. He could always talk to her at school, but he would expect her to be mad. It was almost unfair how he seemed like her boyfriend already; having to listen to her and face her fury when he doesn't text back, but she kept him at an arm's length. Shouldn't talking be Stan's problem and not his? Sterling put his phone away as the doors to the school opened. He was always unnecessarily early, but he couldn't trust himself to get there on time so he settled on being there before the allotted time that he had to be there. 

Sterling sat down at the cafeteria table when other students started to enter the school. As he thought, Wendy and her friends came over to him. He braced himself when Wendy sat beside him, but she didn't look mad. She was moreso upset, and Sterling didn't know why. 

"Hey. Did you get my messages?" Wendy placed a hand on her hip. 

Sterling nodded his head.

"Well why didn't you reply?" She asked. 

"I didn't get them until this morning."

"Where were you? Why didn't you have your phone?" She looked determined to suck every bit of information that she could from Sterling. He wouldn't budge, but unfortunately she wanted to press on. 

"Sterling, who was that date with? Was it Kenny?" 

Sterling moved ever so slightly away from her at the mention of his name, making Wendy frown. 

"Really? With him?" 

"It wasn't a date," Sterling hissed.

Wendy sighed. She sat down next to him and gestured for the other girls to go talk somewhere else. "Look, the reason I wanted to talk to you was because… I... uh... I kind of wanted to try going out with you. I broke up with Stan again. I think I've had enough of him." 

Sterling turned to stare at her, checking her to make sure she wasn't joking or lying. Her face said everything. She must have been done with him for real this time if she looked that disappointed. Sterling was frustrated. He wanted to just get up and leave from the table. Of course she wanted to do this now. Sterling kept his mouth shut when it seemed that Wendy wasn't finished with him just yet. 

"I know what I said in the past about our relationship. I remember you were upset about that. You obviously do care about me, and I'm willing to try being with you. I did say I didn't swing that way and I'm sorry for that, but I will give it my best shot-" 

"No." 

"Excuse me?" 

"No thanks." Sterling was calm and to the point, but he was furious on the inside. Why would she do this to him? Why now? She rejected him first. She said she didn't want to continue talking about it. Just because of one incident with Stan, she's suddenly running to him? Sterling wasn't about to let her walk all over him anymore and it started now. 

"I don't understand…" 

"I know you don't," Sterling muttered. "You probably wouldn't try to. I'm not going to be the person you fall back on when your relationship with Stan isn't working. I'm more than just some plan B. I don't know what people in this town are like, but I'd prefer to work for what I can get rather than shut up and take what someone else threw away. You are really great to me and you're very pretty Wendy, but no. I really don't want to be the temporary saving grace for your relationship troubles. Just go back to Stan." 

With that, Sterling got up from the table and walked away, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn't look back to see Wendy's face. He'd prefer not to. He had talked enough that day. 

 

~~~~~

 

The rest of the day had gone by with not a single peep from Sterling. He said next to nothing for the whole duration of the school day. When the final bell rang for the students to go home, Sterling walked out the doors with the same expressionless face he normally had. He huffed as he pulled his checkered backpack over his shoulders, bearing the burden of two AP books and homework for the weekend. As he moved along the street, he spotted a familiar tuft of black hair beneath a blue and red hat from across the street, immediately raising his defenses. This was probably about Wendy again. He knew it. Following behind him were the two boys he had no qualms with and one walking monstrosity he had been warned about. Sterling moved closer to the stores he passed as they approached. 

Stan was the first person to say something. He lowered his head with an almost regretful look. Sterling looked at Kenny, who seemed nervous to know what this was about. 

"I wasn't really nice to you in the past, and I'm sorry about that," Stan began. Sterling kept quiet. "This is probably something you don't want to be your business, but you kind of made it your business. I know she's with you now, but I really want her back. Could you maybe convince her to come back to me? Please?" 

At Stan's explanation, Kenny seemed to deflate. Sterling was paying attention to that more than to Stan, but it didn't last long. What was he talking about? 

"What? I'm not dating her. Where the hell did you hear that?" 

The boy looked up in shock. "You aren't? Why was she sticking by you the whole day then? I saw you both together. You can't tell me you aren't dating." 

"She did come to me this morning, but I turned her down. I'm not going to let myself be used as a crutch. She sticks by me because we're friends. You're right about one thing there, I really want nothing to do with the weird relationship you two have. As for convincing her to come back to you, I said that to her this morning too, but that's her decision and not mine-" 

Sterling felt himself grow overwhelmed again. He quieted down. The boys tilted their head in confusion when his voice suddenly just cut out. Kyle seemed to understand it, as they shared more classes and his condition had been explained, but the others were at a loss. 

"Just leave him alone, Stan. He doesn't want your girlfriend," Kyle said. Sterling nodded in agreement. Stan shot a look of concern to Sterling, but he sighed. 

"Fine. Let's go." 

"No!" Cartman growled. "This is the second time you've been thrown in front of the twink and neither of you threw hands. Goddamn it if I want to see a fight I'm gonna have to do it myself." 

Sterling glared at Cartman. As much as he knew Cartman was evil, he also knew he was a coward. Cartman could say that he'd fight, but when it came down to it he wouldn't follow through. 

"You wouldn't fight him. You don't have the balls to fight him." 

The boys seemed surprised when Kenny had something to say about the situation, but Kenny was calm and collected. 

"Ey! I do have the fuckin' balls!" Cartman shouted. By the time he said it, however, they were already walking off and leaving Cartman behind. 

Sterling parted ways quickly when they started to head off. He rushed to his house and shut the door behind him, catching his breath once he got inside. He had really done it now. The very thing Kenny told him not to do and he couldn't even do anything to stop it. It appeared that he was now currently against Cartman, and it wasn't his fault. 

He didn't realize what he got himself involved in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am so sorry for not continuing to write this for so long. Some of my projects are dead simoly because not enough people were reading them and motivating me to write but others I will be working on! As an apology present you get to have two chapters for this and a third one on the way. I was incredibly busy with other things and I'm so sorry.


End file.
